mroutt's Diaryland Diary

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whiney post

I won sixty bucks in Tama today on video poker, it was rather cool.
I'm gonna whine a little bit for the next paragraph or so, skip ahead to the stars to skip reading the whinning.
I have been feeling less and less like I have axhieved anything as of late, it seems like everythign I do i fuck up in some detail. I am far behind on my script I was writing, some friends which I used to spend tons of time with have been left on the outside of my life with only breif contact being made, mostly by phone, other by chance meetings.
I feel like I once had this whole great plan going on, i had two jobs, a apartment, dreams of grander things, now all I have is one job and semi realized dreams that i don't honestly put much faith in.
I would like to get the Mr. Movies job but I can see that I am not really the type of person who gets such jobs, I would like to write an amazing script that woudl get me a career in movies, but I can tell by the script I am currently working on that I just want to write long artsy type shit, which is fine if I was also a director but I am not, and I want to do a comic or three but I have an artist with no time to draw and no desire to work on things he doesn't create. I also have this whole I can not draw thing going on which has always fucking plagued me.
I just feel like I am a complete loser.
On the upside I have a girlfriend who loves me and helps me relax, a family that loves me, even if they don't understand me most of the time, and friends that help me forget my problem with games of Halo and such.

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End of whining.
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I don't have anything else to type................. but some lyrics from a cd I bought today
FALL OUT BOY LYRICS

"A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me""

I confess, I messed up
dropping "I'm sorrys" like you're still around
And I know you dressed up
said "hey kid you'll never live this down"

And you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with
And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

Write me off, give up on me
Cause darling, what did you expect
I'm just off a lost cause
a long shot, don't even take this bet

You can make all the moves, you can aim all the spotlights
Get all the sighs and the moans just right

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

I'm just always on
You said you'd keep me honest
(you're always on)
But I won't call you on it

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

12:02 AM - August 02, 2005

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